Communication in a Relationship: How to Talk So Your Partner Really Listens

Why "just talk" doesn't work

"Just talk about it" is advice every couple in crisis hears. The problem is that if it were that simple, most couples would never need therapy.

Four behaviours that destroy communication

• Criticism
• Contempt
• Defensiveness
• Stonewalling

"I" statements instead of "you"

Instead of "You never listen," try "I feel unheard when you look at your phone during our conversation."

Active listening

Listening isn't waiting for your turn to respond. It means full presence: putting down the phone, eye contact, paraphrasing what you heard.